Learning a musical instrument was never an easy task. Since young, I
have always admired my friends around me, having their parents bringing them
for enrichment classes during the weekends. As my mum have a great passion for
music, she enrolled me for piano classes when I was eight.
On every Saturday, my mum would bring me to attend Miss Doreen’s
classes. Miss Doreen was a young, cheerful-looking lady. She taught me how to
read music notes and terms patiently, and she will play the piece of music that
I will be learning in her lessons once before teaching me part by part.
After attending lessons for around a year, I was asked to prepare
for my music practical examination. I was required to perform three music
pieces and play the appropriate music scales raised by the examiner, whom I will
only meet during the examination itself. Miss Doreen prepared me for the
examination by giving me useful advices whenever I practise the music pieces in
class. However, knowing that examination was nearing, my heart would skipped a
beat as I do not have the courage of performing the music pieces in front of a
stranger. I was so worried that there will be hiccups when I play the music
pieces.
After knowing that I was worrying for the upcoming examination, Miss
Doreen gave me a lot of encouragement during my lessons which eventually help
me to boost my confidence. She began to tell me stories about some of her students
who were even younger than me, having the courage to perform the music pieces
in front of the examiner. Some of the students have even passed the examination
with flying colours. Miss Doreen encouraged me by telling me to give myself a
chance to show to others what I have prepared for the past few months and then,
proceed on to the next grade. Her words inspired me greatly as I really want to
proceed on to the next grade where I will get to learn play more challenging
music pieces. Without Miss Doreen, I would not have the capability to obtain a
Diploma in Music.
Lastly, I believe that acquiring a skill is not a simple task and we
will need to invest a lot of time, effort and hard work working from scratch. It
is important for us to always have faith and confidence in ourselves. Thus, I will
definitely try my best to overcome all the obstacles in life.
Your content is good as your supporting ideas supported why your main idea, that learning a musical instrument is never an easy task. You managed to show reflective connection as you explained why is that so from your hiccups and your difficulty to perform in front of stranger.
ReplyDeleteOrganisation was good too as you started with an introduction taking the reader back to your past and slowly through body paragraphs lead them to your present. You also ended with a proper conclusion explaining your whole journey.
Language was good too as there is a fluency throughout your essay and you demonstrated proper use of grammer, punctuation and spelling.
Your reflective writing is well organized as the connection between the paragraphs are clear. The background information provided is very detail and sufficient that enables readers to understand your past easily. As a result, your main points arrive smoothly.
ReplyDeleteMy suggestion is that you can provide more of your reflections on writing the background which will make your final conclusion more convincing.
Content is great with lots of examples and explanation. I do agree that acquiring a skill is definitely not easy! Great that you will try your best to overcome all the obstacles in life :)
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteBlogging buddies, I agree. Hui Min wrote a very intersting reflection. The ideas are well presented and explained.
DeleteYes, I agree that it would be good for Hui Min to briefly explain the difficulties/challenges in leanring music so that the readers could see how she overcame such problems.
Hui Min,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your experience and your passion in learning music. I am so pleased you persevered through a difficult task, and now can feel your sense of achievement. You are absolutely right--nothing is impossible with hard work and determination.
You described your experiences well and structured your thoughts logically from past, present and future. However, It would have been good for you to briefly explain why learning the piano was not an easy task for you. You said it, but then talked about your piano teacher.
Language: pay attention to the following:
1. Connection of ideas in these sentences: Can you see why?
-… I have always admired my friends around me, having their parents bringing them for enrichment classes during the weekends.
-She began to tell me stories about some of her students who were even younger than me, having the courage to perform the music pieces in front of the examiner.
I notice you tend to tag ideas at the end of the first part of the sentence. You should make sure you specify the relationship between ideas in sentences.
2. Subject-verb agreement:
As my 'mum have' a great passion for music, she enrolled me for piano classes when I was eight.
3. Use of tenses: Can you see you changed between past and present tenses though you referred to an experience/event in the past?
-She taught me how to read music notes and terms patiently, and she will play the piece of music that I will be learning in her lessons once before teaching me part by part.
-However, knowing that examination was nearing, my heart would skipped a beat as I do not have the courage of performing the music pieces in front of a stranger. I was so worried that there will be hiccups when I play the music pieces.
-After knowing that I was worrying for the upcoming examination, Miss Doreen gave me a lot of encouragement during my lessons which eventually help me to boost my confidence.
-Her words inspired me greatly as I really want to proceed on to the next grade where I will get to learn play more challenging music pieces. Without Miss Doreen, I would not have the capability to obtain a Diploma in Music.
4. Put describing words close to the words they describe:
She taught me how to read music notes and terms patiently, …